Sexyouality compiled by Merrick

Sexyouality compiled by Merrick

An interesting A5 pamhlet about sex, polyamoury, monogam etc.

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Challenging the culture of monogamy
Monogamy - the idea that there should only be one person with whom you have sexual relations - is widely held to be not only the normal and natural, but also an ideal. And yet it's a lifestyle few of us actually live out. sexyouality challenges not monogamy as the relationship, but as an ideal, as a blueprint. Having unattainable or unsuitable goals can only ever disappoint and frustrate, and not only distracts from honest interaction, but actively discourages it.

Although most of us attempt monogamy, most of us have to deal with infidelity. Superficially it may seem like monogamy is a safe option, but clearly for many people it's a denial of a very real part of us. Like another supposedly normal and natural ideal, the nuclear family of mum dad and two kids, it's not what most of us actually do, nor seemingly what most of us truly want or need. Although most of us will marry, recent generations have come to accept a diversity in family life, and judgemental ideas of people 'living in sin' having 'illegitimate' and 'bastard' children are now laughably anachronistic. But monogamy - essentially behaving as if you're practising to be married - as a supreme ideal is intact. Those who live outside it are seen as selfish, and often as 'cheats'. And yet most of us are not monogamous, at least at some time.

So what if we were to be non-monogamous; not secretly or furtively, but as a wilful choice akin to those who live outside the ideal of marriage? What problems would be solved? What problems would be created? How could we deal with them? And would we honestly be likely to be any happier? Drawing on a wealth of diverse contemporary writing in essays, letter, zines and books from Britain, Europe and the USA over the last 30 years, and beyond into the poetry of Kahlil Gibran and records of non-monogamous living in Victorian times, this pamphlet raises these questions and offers some answers.


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